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Birds of a feather

By Lin Qi (China Daily)
Updated: 2009-08-26 09:17

"There were very few college students from the countryside around us," says Zhou Yi, 58, a retired civil servant and also mother of an unmarried girl.

"First, it was difficult to enter the universities, even for urbanites. And the common way for a rural boy to change his destiny was to join the army. When he retired, he might land a job in the big city."

She adds that since there were not many college graduates available, the perfect husband-to-be at that time was a factory worker, with a stable job and salary.

Chen Youhong, a relationship counselor from a Beijing-based matchmaking website, attributes the rising number of phoenix-peacock marriages to the expansion of university enrollment and migration of the population to urban centers.

"More rural lads are able to receive higher education and get a good job in the cities and become successful," Chen says. "Coming from a lower class, they have to work even harder than their urban peers. They are commonly recognized as being industrious and positive. These good personality traits sound quite appealing to city girls, who are mostly from the only child generation and may lack of some of those qualities."

Lin Xianhui dated several city girls before marrying his wife. The parents of his first girlfriend said to him their daughter's future husband should have a decent apartment, a car and savings of at least 100,000 yuan ($14,640).

"I had just graduated from college. How could I meet those standards in just a few years? I think they implied that I was unqualified to be their daughter's boyfriend," he says.

Since phoenix men are usually only children, too, there is sometimes the perception that they have obligations to their rural families. Another of Lin's girlfriends turned him down because of this.

Civil servant Zhou Yi says it is natural for urban parents to be irritated by their rural in-laws and worry about their daughter having to look after them in their old age.

Lin's relationship with a third city girl was spoiled by her spending habits, he says.

"She would spend two or three month traveling around every year. It is OK for her since she is from a well-off family. Her parents totally support her But I grew up poor and I had to take several odd jobs to pay for my college," he says.

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